Flipped Learning Activity: The Only Story
The sources provide a comprehensive analysis of Julian Barnes’ novel The Only Story, focusing on its non-linear narrative structure and its classification as a memory novel. The lecture explores the protagonist Paul Roberts' life, emphasizing his transition from a 19-year-old in love to a 70-year-old narrator reflecting on his past through a mixture of first, second, and third-person perspectives.
A central interpretation is that the novel de-glamorizes love, focusing instead on the burden of responsibility and realistic suffering. The sources argue that Paul is an unreliable narrator whose account is shaped by deep remorse and cowardice, particularly regarding his failure to care for Susan Macleod as she succumbed to alcoholism and dementia.
Specific examples used include Paul and Susan's initial meeting at a tennis club via a mixed doubles match. The discussion also highlights Susan’s trauma involving Uncle Humphrey, suggesting childhood abuse influenced her later "frigid" behavior and psychological decline. Additionally, Paul’s self-confessed cowardice is illustrated through an anecdote where he abandoned his friend Eric during an attack. Ultimately, the sources suggest Barnes uses these characters to demystify human relationships and the fallibility of memory.
Like a mirror shattered into pieces, this memory novel requires the reader to piece together the truth from jagged, sometimes distorted reflections of the past.
Video 2: Character Study of Joan in The Only Story
The second video focuses on Joan, Susan’s friend and Gerald’s sister, offering a contrasting character study to the novel’s central "damaged" characters. While Susan's life is marked by tragic "damages" like her affair with Paul and alcoholism, Joan manages to avoid complete emotional destruction. The video explores Joan’s life using the symbolism of her pets, especially Sybil, whose name references a mythical figure linked to a desire for death. This reflects Joan’s view of death as a potential blissful release from a shattered life. Joan’s coping mechanisms—gin, cigarettes, and crosswords—are interpreted as part of her survivalist approach. The video argues that Joan's pets, particularly her dogs, offer a form of non-demanding love, contrasting with the emotional dependence of human relationships. Specific examples from the novel, like Joan’s affair with a married man and her return to her father, illustrate her emotional struggles. The lecturer presents Joan as a "bulky" woman who lives honestly and solitarily with her "yappers," moving beyond social hypocrisy. Ultimately, the video suggests that Joan represents the "walking wounded", someone who survives trauma by accepting the impermanence of life and finding solace in animals rather than people.
Video 3 - Memory Novel | Memory, History, and Morality
This video examines Julian Barnes’ The Only Story as a meditation on memory, highlighting its imperfections and unreliability. The lecturer argues that memory functions as a form of “personal history”, often coloured by lies or self-justifications to protect individuals from the burden of moral responsibility and remorse. Drawing on the film Memento, the video suggests that mis recorded memories weaken our ability to confront past mistakes truthfully. A key interpretation is that memory initially prioritizes happy or comforting events, while the residue of trauma, cowardice, and moral failings surfaces only with deeper reflection.
Specific examples from the novel illustrate this concept. Paul’s recollection of his friend Eric being attacked at a fair prompts him to confront his own cowardice, as he initially claims he sought help from the police but actually fled. The reference to Max Verstappen, a 19-year-old Formula One racer, contrasts youthful fearlessness with the true courage needed to take responsibility in adulthood, including in matters of love. Additionally, an anecdote of a man at a bar warning that birds eventually “shit” on those they perch upon serves as a metaphor for the negative consequences of Paul’s actions on Susan, contributing to her psychological decline.
Ultimately, the video emphasizes that Barnes’ novel uses Paul’s unreliable narration to explore the complexities of memory, morality, and human failure, showing how personal history is often a mix of truth, self-deception, and regret.
Video 4 - Narrative Pattern
This video examines Julian Barnes’ narrative pattern in The Only Story, emphasizing the interplay between classical storytelling and postmodern experimentation. The lecturer notes the novel’s alignment with Dr Samuel Johnson’s 1755 definition of a novel as a “small tale… generally of love,” while also serving as a scaffold for philosophical brooding, where the plot often takes a backseat to reflections on memory, truth, and moral responsibility.
A central argument is that Paul Roberts is an unreliable narrator, whose memory “sorts and shifts” to protect his self-image, frequently contradicting himself even within a single page. This unreliability is reflected through narrative drift between first-, second-, and third-person perspectives, symbolizing Paul’s growing emotional dissociation from both his younger self and Susan.
Specific examples from the novel include the opening philosophical question about whether it is better to “love the more and suffer the more” and the metaphor of “warp and weft”, describing how philosophical reflection and personal memory intertwine to create the narrative’s fabric. The final scene, with Paul ending clinically at a petrol station after visiting an institutionalized, “zombified” Susan, signifies his ultimate emotional detachment. The video concludes that the novel’s structure resembles a weaver’s loom, where the interwoven threads of memory and reflection reveal more in their gaps than in their content.
Video 5 - Question of Responsibility
This video explores the theme of responsibility in Julian Barnes’ The Only Story, focusing on how individuals account for failed or “crashed” relationships. The lecturer argues that while Paul initially attributes Susan’s decline solely to Gordon’s domestic violence, the novel encourages deeper self-reflection (swadhyayan). A central interpretation is that it is easy to blame the nearest “link” in a chain, but true responsibility requires acknowledging one’s own fragility or inability to respond when life exerts a pull on a relationship.
The video uses metaphors, such as chains and trees in a cyclone, to illustrate human resilience, showing that those who cannot bend under pressure may break the entire chain of relationships. Another example is a snake accidentally cutting itself on a carpenter’s tools, symbolizing the harm caused by resisting life rather than adapting. Specific examples from the novel include the dentist anecdote, where Susan hides Gordon’s abuse by claiming she “slipped off,” highlighting Paul’s initial focus on Gordon’s guilt rather than his own role. The video concludes that narrators like Paul must stop blaming others and recognize their contribution to the collective damage inflicted on Susan and her family.
Video 6 - Theme of Love | Passion and Suffering
The video analyses Julian Barnes’s The Only Story, emphasizing the inextricable link between love and suffering. It begins by examining the etymology of “passion,” from the Latin patior (“to suffer”), suggesting that true love inevitably brings pain. The lecturer argues that the novel poses a philosophical question: is it better to “love more and suffer more”?
The discussion frames the novel as a postmodern critique of romantic meta-narratives, rejecting idealized portrayals of love in classical literature and film. Using Lacanian theory, it is explained that humans pursue “love objects” to fill internal gaps, but conflict is inevitable because both parties have unfillable desires.
Key examples from the novel include Paul’s “private cinema” of memories, the dream sequence where Susan hangs from a window—symbolizing the emotional weight dragging Paul down—and the contrast between Susan’s tragic decline and Joan’s safer devotion to pets. The video also highlights Paul’s disillusionment when Susan becomes both alcoholic and lover, illustrating how love’s idealized truth can collapse. Overall, the novel replaces romantic myths with a raw, realistic portrayal of love’s pain and unpredictability.
Video 7 - Theme of Marriage | Critique of Marriage Institution
The video critiques Julian Barnes’s portrayal of marriage in The Only Story, characterizing it as a “sham” or a state of fakeness. A central argument is that love and marriage are opposites: while comedies traditionally end in marriage, in real life it often signals the end of carefree love and the start of social and moral burdens. Barnes is said to avoid moralising, instead depicting marriage as a transition from passionate love to complacency and mediocrity.
The lecturer highlights several cynical metaphors: a “dog kennel” where complacency resides, a “jewellery box” that turns diamonds into base metal, and an “unseaworthy boat” that proves useless in crises. Key examples from the novel include the violent marriage of Susan and Gordon, reflecting middle-class English conformity and silent suffering, and Paul’s observation of his parents’ joyless marriage, merely “lifting each other’s burden.” Paul’s relief that Susan rejected his marriage proposal underscores his belief that legal union would have invited further tragedy. Joan’s solitary life with pets is offered as a contrasting, successful alternative to human marriage.
Video 8 - Two Ways to Look at Life
This video examines the narrator Paul Roberts’ philosophical frameworks for interpreting his life in Julian Barnes’ The Only Story, focusing on the tension between free will and inevitability. The first framework portrays the individual as the captain of a paddle steamer navigating the Mississippi River, emphasizing personal responsibility and the consequences of choices. Paul applies this perspective to his 19-year-old self, interpreting his relationship with the 48-year-old Susan as a deliberate exercise of free will, for which he accepts the lifelong emotional “wound.”
The second framework presents life as governed by inevitability, where a person is merely a “bump on a log” drifting helplessly along a river, pushed by forces beyond their control. Paul reflects on whether random events, such as the specific pairing of names in a mixed doubles tennis match, dictated the course of his life.
A central interpretation is that these opposing frameworks are self-serving tools for retrospective reordering. The lecturer argues that Paul oscillates between them to protect his ego, claiming free will for successes while attributing failures and “crashed” relationships to the inevitability of circumstance. This dual perspective highlights the tension between moral responsibility and self-deception in his narrative.
Key Takeaway 1: Memory as an Unreliable, Self-Serving Narrative
Explanation:
In The Only Story, memory is not a neutral record of the past but a subjective reconstruction that protects the narrator’s ego. Paul’s recollections function as a “personal history”, where events are sorted, shifted, and edited to maintain his self-image. Happy moments are often prioritized, while trauma or moral failings are buried.
Novel Examples:
Paul alternates between viewing his life as guided by free will (as the “captain” of a steamer) and inevitability (a “bump on a log”), claiming credit for successes while excusing failed relationships.
He explicitly contradicts himself, claiming never to have kept a diary, only to later reference detailed entries he repeatedly revised.
Significance:
This theme establishes the novel’s postmodern framework. It forces readers to question the truthfulness of the narrative, highlighting how language and memory can conceal as much as they reveal.
Key Takeaway 2: Love as Responsibility, Not Romantic Idealism
Explanation:
Barnes de-glamorizes romance, portraying love as a moral and emotional responsibility rather than pure passion. Love evolves from youthful infatuation into a burden that requires resilience and moral awareness, particularly when one partner suffers or relationships become strained.
Novel Examples:
Paul’s journey from a 19-year-old in love to a 70-year-old reflecting on his failures illustrates the shift from innocence to experience.
Paul ultimately “hands back” Susan to her daughters when her alcoholism and dementia become unmanageable.
The novel contrasts this harsh reality with idealized romantic myths, such as Romeo and Juliet.
Significance:
This theme emphasizes the plight of the “walking wounded”, showing that the tragedy lies not in love itself but in failing to sustain responsibility. It frames love as an ethical challenge rather than a purely emotional experience.
Key Takeaway 3: Passion Is Inseparable from Suffering
Explanation:
The novel underscores the original meaning of “passion” (from Latin patior, “to suffer”), arguing that intense love inherently entails pain and disaster. Choosing to love fully is to embrace inevitable suffering.
Novel Examples:
The opening philosophical question—“Would you rather love the more and suffer the more?”—sets the tone for the narrative.
Paul’s recurring dream of Susan hanging from his wrists symbolizes how her emotional weight ultimately drags him down.
The man at the bar metaphor, where birds resting on shoulders eventually “shit” on their hosts, illustrates the harm Paul brings into Susan’s life.
Significance:
This theme captures the novel’s philosophical core: human relationships are often catastrophic, and deep passion necessarily exposes individuals to emotional disaster.
Character Analysis : two characters from the novel
1. Paul Roberts
Role in the Narrative:
Paul functions as the historian of his own memory, a 70-year-old man reconstructing the defining decade of his life, which began when, at 19, he fell in love with a 48-year-old woman. He positions himself as a highly invested narrator, presenting what he calls his “only story”—the single narrative he believes gives meaning and coherence to a person’s existence.
Key Traits and Motivations:
Paul is defined by unreliability, fundamental cowardice, and self-delusion. In his youth, he is motivated by a desire to be “radical” and “carefree,” interpreting the affair as a triumph over middle-class mediocrity and proof of “youthful fearlessness.” In old age, his stated aim is to uncover the “truth” of his past; however, his narration frequently serves to defend himself and mitigate guilt through self-serving reorderings of history.
How Narrative Perspective Shapes Understanding:
The reader’s understanding of Paul is shaped by his “drifting narration,” which shifts from an intimate first-person (“I”) perspective in Part One to a detached third-person (“He”) perspective in Part Three. This shift mirrors his emotional dissociation: as the “damage” caused by the relationship becomes increasingly visible, Paul creates distance to avoid confronting his remorse and guilt. His unreliability is further exposed through contradictions, such as initially claiming he never kept a diary, only to later reveal a notebook filled with decades of revised entries.
Contribution to Themes:
Paul embodies the “Question of Responsibility” and the “Theory of Damage.” He demonstrates how memory “prioritizes” information that allows the bearer to continue functioning, even as the “ugly residues” of past cowardice—such as running away when Susan’s husband punches him—eventually surface.
2. Susan Macleod
Role in the Narrative:
Susan Macleod is the primary love object and the tragic center of the novel. A 48-year-old mother of two, she finds in Paul a temporary escape from her violent, alcoholic husband, Gordon, and from a childhood scarred by abuse at the hands of Uncle Humphrey.
Key Traits and Motivations:
Susan is initially presented as enigmatic, life-learned, and animated by a “laughing essence.” Her motivation is to fill the Lacanian “gap”—the profound void created by years of domestic and childhood trauma. However, she suffers from “obstinate denial,” and her life collapses into severe alcoholism and dementia, ending in a “zombified” existence within a mental asylum.
How Narrative Perspective Shapes Understanding:
Because the entire story is filtered through the “protective lens” of Paul’s memory, Susan’s own voice is never directly heard. She is frequently reduced to a material object, described as a “parcel” to be “handed back” to her daughters once she becomes unmanageable. This one-sided perspective leaves her as a deeply tragic figure, whose internal suffering remains largely confined to the “marginalia of history.”
Contribution to Themes:
Susan is the novel’s primary embodiment of “Passion as Suffering.” Her decline—from a vibrant tennis partner to an alcoholic who “shits on the shoulders” of those who attempt to help her—supports the argument that love becomes a “real disaster” when one surrenders to it entirely. She also anchors the novel’s critique of marriage, representing how “middle-class complacency” forces women to suffer silently behind a veneer of respectability.
Narrative Techniques in The Only Story
Julian Barnes employs a complex fusion of classical and postmodern narrative techniques in The Only Story to explore the instability of memory, the destructiveness of love, and the workings of self-delusion. The novel is structured in three distinct parts, which initially resemble a conventional love story but gradually undermine it through narrative fragmentation, psychological distancing, and an increasingly unreliable narrator.
First-Person Narration and Its Limitations
In the opening section, Barnes uses first-person narration (“I”), allowing Paul Roberts to recount his experiences with an air of intimacy and immediacy. This voice draws the reader into the emotional intensity of Paul’s nineteen-year-old self and the apparent sincerity of first love. However, this closeness is deeply problematic.
Paul does not offer objective truth, but a highly subjective account, shaped by emotional investment and self-preservation. He openly admits that memory “sorts and sifts according to the demands made on it by the rememberer,” exposing recollection as selective and self-serving. Furthermore, Paul insists that he never kept a diary and that many figures from the past are now dead or dispersed, rendering his narrative unverifiable. His account operates through what he himself describes as a “protective lens,” which prioritises survivable memories while concealing guilt, cowardice, and moral failure.
Shifting Perspectives and the Unreliable Narrator
One of the novel’s most striking techniques is its drifting narration, which shifts from first person in Part One, to second person (“you”) in Part Two, and finally to third person (“he”) in Part Three. This grammatical progression mirrors Paul’s growing emotional dissociation from Susan and from his former self as the relationship deteriorates.
By the final section, the move to the third person reflects Paul’s attempt to distance himself from responsibility. While he labels himself a “coward” and a “failure,” this self-judgement paradoxically allows him to avoid fully inhabiting his guilt. His unreliability is further exposed through contradictions: he claims to have “only one story to tell,” yet immediately refers to “countless stories,” and he denies keeping a diary before later admitting to maintaining a notebook filled with revisions and crossings-out, symbolising his continual rewriting of memory.
Non-Linear Timeline and Use of Flashbacks
The novel is framed retrospectively from the perspective of a seventy-year-old Paul, reconstructing events that span several decades. Barnes employs a non-linear timeline, moving fluidly between Paul’s youth, middle age, and old age through flashbacks and reflective interruptions.
This fragmented structure mirrors the disordered nature of memory itself. Rather than offering clarity or wisdom, hindsight only intensifies Paul’s confusion, remorse, and guilt. Barnes rejects the traditional assumption that time brings understanding, instead presenting memory as unstable and morally compromised.
Impact on the Reader’s Experience
These narrative techniques force the reader to adopt a critical and sceptical stance. Paul explicitly warns the reader that the “truth” emerges from the imperfections of memory meeting the inadequacies of documentation, undermining any expectation of narrative certainty.
Unlike classical novels—such as those by Thomas Hardy, where philosophical reflection lightly seasons a strong plot—Barnes reverses this hierarchy. In The Only Story, the love story becomes the “pinch of salt”, while extended philosophical meditation dominates. As a result, the reader experiences the novel less as a romance and more as a philosophical inquiry into love, responsibility, and damage.
How This Narrative Differs from Other Novels
The Only Story differs significantly from novels such as Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children. Whereas Rushdie’s work is public, expansive, and historical, Barnes’s novel is private, controlled, and psychological. In Midnight’s Children, unreliable memory connects the narrator’s life to national history through magical realism and exaggeration. In contrast, Barnes confines unreliability to a single love affair, using it to expose guilt, self-delusion, and emotional harm.
While Rushdie uses storytelling to construct identity and history, Barnes uses it to question memory itself and to dismantle romantic meta-narratives perpetuated by literature and film. Love is not redemptive but a “real disaster” when surrendered without restraint.
Thematic Connections
Memory and Unreliability
The novel defines history as collective memory and memory as personal history, yet presents both as inherently unstable and precarious. Paul Roberts, as the narrator, is a “highly invested teller” who openly concedes that “memory sorts and sifts according to the demands made on it by the rememberer.” Memory is therefore not a neutral archive but an active, self-serving process.
The Subjectivity of Truth:
Truth in the novel is portrayed not as an objective reality but as a manufactured product, emerging where the “imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation.” Barnes suggests that all personal histories are provisional and morally compromised.Narrative Deception:
Paul’s unreliability is repeatedly exposed through contradictions. He initially claims he never kept a diary, only to later reveal a notebook filled with decades of revisions and crossings-out. His narration functions through a “protective lens”, bringing survivable memories to the surface while suppressing the “ugly residues” of cowardice, guilt, and moral failure until later life, when they can no longer be ignored.
Love, Passion, and Suffering
The novel restores the original etymological meaning of “passion” from the Latin patior—“to suffer.” Love is presented not as fulfilment but as an experience inseparable from pain, framed by Paul’s opening philosophical question: “Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less?”
Lacanian Desire:
Drawing on Lacanian psychoanalysis, Barnes presents human beings as “subjects of desire”, formed by a fundamental “gap” created by the limitations of language and self-knowledge.The “Real Disaster”:
Humans seek “love objects” to fill this void, yet other people are inherently flawed substitutes, burdened with their own desires and absences. This leads to the novel’s bleak central assertion: “Every love… is a real disaster once you give yourself over to it entirely.” Love promises completion but instead magnifies damage.
Responsibility and Cowardice
Paul repeatedly avoids moral accountability through “drifting narration,” shifting from the first person (“I”) to the third person (“He”) as the emotional cost of his actions becomes unavoidable. This grammatical distancing allows him to observe his failures without fully inhabiting them.
Avoidance Tactics:
Paul initially attributes the collapse of the relationship to Gordon’s domestic violence, framing it as a “crime of absolute liability” in order to minimise his own responsibility.Acts of Cowardice:
The narrative exposes a lifelong pattern of flight rather than confrontation: Paul runs away when his friend Eric is being kicked at a fair, and later flees after Gordon punches him. These moments establish cowardice as a defining moral flaw rather than an isolated weakness.The Consequence:
Paul’s ultimate act of evasion is “handing back” a broken, alcoholic Susan to her daughters like a “parcel” or a “refund.” This abandonment condemns him to a lifetime of remorse, leaving a psychological “wound” that remains open until death.
Critique of Marriage
Marriage is presented as a social institution that frequently marks the end of love rather than its fulfilment. Barnes dismantles it through a series of corrosive metaphors:
A “dog kennel”, symbolising stagnant complacency.
A “jewellery box” that performs “reverse alchemy,” turning diamonds back into base metal.
A “disused boathouse” containing a leaky, two-person canoe no longer capable of escape.
The novel particularly critiques English middle-class complacency, where couples prefer to “suffer silently” rather than confront domestic violence or emotional collapse, preserving respectability at the cost of truth.
Two Ways of Looking at Life
Barnes presents human existence along a continuum between two opposing philosophies:
Life as Choice (The Captain):
The individual is the captain of a paddle steamer, making decisive choices that “obliterate” all alternative futures, producing anxiety over the “roads not taken.”Life as Inevitability (The Bump on a Log):
The individual is merely a “bump on a log,” carried by the “currents and eddies” of biology, history, and circumstance beyond personal control.
Personal Reflection: Consider the question posed at the beginning of the novel:
"Would you rather love the more and suffer the more, or love the less and suffer the less?".
The Paradox of Choice
Paul Roberts introduces what he calls the “only real question”—whether it is better to love more and suffer more, or love less and suffer less—yet immediately undermines its validity. He argues that this is not, in fact, a “real” choice, because genuine love cannot be regulated by will. If love can be controlled or rationed, it ceases to be authentic. This contradiction establishes a central tension in the novel between free will—symbolised by the captain steering the ship—and inevitability, represented by the “bump on a log” carried by the river’s current.
Passion as Suffering
Barnes deepens this tension by restoring the etymological root of “passion” to the Latin patior, meaning “to suffer.” Through Paul’s relationship with Susan Macleod, the novel demonstrates that intense passion is inseparable from pain. Love, whether apparently successful or overtly destructive, becomes a “real disaster” at the moment one gives oneself over to it entirely. Suffering is therefore not an accidental by-product of love, but its inevitable companion.
The Outcome of “Loving More”
The narrative traces the consequences of “loving more” through Paul’s nineteen-year-old embrace of what he initially describes as “youthful fearlessness.” With hindsight, he recognises this not as courage but as an unstabilised risk profile, shaped by inexperience and self-delusion. Whether through conscious choice or passive drift, the characters who commit themselves fully to love become the novel’s “walking wounded.”
Paul: At seventy, he remains psychologically defined by this single relationship, unable to form enduring connections afterward. His life demonstrates that the “wound” of a great love remains open until death, resisting closure or healing.
Susan: Her trajectory is far more devastating. She descends into alcoholism, dementia, and complete psychological collapse, becoming a symbolic representation of the extreme suffering that unrestrained passion can inflict.
The Illusion of Control
Ultimately, the novel suggests that the initial question about loving more or less functions as a retrospective coping mechanism, a way of imposing meaning on trauma after the fact. Paul concludes that love cannot be contained within a definition or reduced to a rational choice. It can only be understood as a story—a narrative shaped by memory, one that initially foregrounds survivable happiness to keep the “bearer” functioning, before the “ugly residues” of suffering inevitably surface.
Personal Reflection How does the novel explore this question?
Personally, the novel made me reflect on my own understanding of love and responsibility. While I recognize the value of passion and emotional intensity, I see now that love without accountability can be damaging, not just to oneself but to others. Paul’s lifelong remorse resonates with me because it demonstrates that the consequences of failing to act responsibly in love can last a lifetime. I also appreciate that Barnes does not provide a simple answer: love is neither purely joyful nor purely destructive—it is a lived experience that shapes identity, teaches empathy, and demands care.
In conclusion, The Only Story reshapes the opening question rather than resolving it. Love cannot be safely quantified or avoided, but it gains meaning when accompanied by responsibility, care, and moral courage. The novel shows that love can wound and challenge, yet it is also the defining human experience, one that leaves us shaped and enriched if approached with accountability. My personal takeaway is that deep love is valuable, but only when combined with responsibility, a lesson that has deepened my understanding of relationships and human experience.
Creative Response: Joan, Susan Macleod’s close friend
October, late evening
The house feels colder now that the “Fancy Boy” has left for the last time. He is thirty now, and the reckless arrogance of nineteen has hardened into the weary, hollowed-out eyes of a man who has finally discovered that the “truth” he once bragged about is rarely kind. Paul came to tell me that he has “handed her back”—returned Susan to her daughters like a parcel that had been opened, damaged, and found too heavy to carry any further. I suppose I cannot blame him for choosing self‑protection; as I told him years ago, if everything went pear‑shaped, he would likely get over it. She, of course, would not.
It is a bloody tragedy to see how their “only story” has stuttered to a close. He is off to manage offices in Africa or America, while Susan is left behind in a world of “shreds and patches,” singing nursery rhymes and advertising jingles to a nurse who does not know her history. Her mind has performed its final disappearing act: she has forgotten the drinking, forgotten the Village, and forgotten that she ever loved him. I remember telling that boy that everyone has their love story—even if it is a fiasco that never quite gets going—but I never warned him that the heart often ends up as nothing more than scar tissue.
I sit here now with Sibyl, the only creature left who does not care that I am just an “old soak” who failed in her own attempt at a place of safety. We are all walking wounded in the end, padding through our lives in Russian house socks, waiting for the final shutting of doors. I shall return to my crosswords and continue filling in the wrong answers. If the universe is nothing but a grid of black and white squares, I might as well cheat. I have been to hell and back already, and I know for a fact there are no fairies at the bottom of this garden.
References
"Introduction | Character | Plot Summary | The Only Story | Julian Barnes." DoE- MKBU, YouTube, 31 Jan 2022, https://youtu.be/46Lxx-C5Tg0?si=PTkqNdhioisd9Tdv
"Joan | Character Study | The Only Story | Julian Barnes." DoE-MKBU, YouTube, 3 Feb 2022, https://youtu.be/st-w_099Yr0?si=OCoRA4CEEaHpXWq8
"Memory Novel | Memory and History | Memory and Morality | The Only Story |
Julian Barnes." DoE-MKBU, YouTube, 2 Feb 2022,
https://youtu.be/H4yoNBCzrUs?si=Vxc5GQPJqnbOxsYE
"Narrative Pattern | The Only Story | Julian Barnes." DoE-MKBU, YouTube, 1 Feb
2022, https://youtu.be/395rhgkig1w?si=mqvmqwWBRqOxByZ_ .
"Question of Responsibility | The Only Story | Julian Barnes." DoE-MKBU, YouTube3
Feb 2022, https://youtu.be/uBj-ju4RuTo?si=LW1K02vT0oNaw2Fx
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